English Writing

2013年06月14日 23:37

The News “Orangutans use iPad at zoo” truly astonished me. Caretakers who take care of orangutans at zoo rendered iPad to Orangutans for enlightenment and gratification of their lives. They can enjoy some Apps such as Music apps, video games, and even cognitive apps. This activity that furnishes enrichment-devices is “Orangutans Outreach”. At zoo they feel depressed and bored by customary days in which they are pictured by viewers and pointed forefingers. I think this activity is fabulous because it does not only delight Orangutans but also indicate that they can manipulate high-tech devices. After training, we would communicate with them more deeply through iPad.

 

The News news that “Orangutans use iPads at zoo” truly astonished me. Caretakers who take care oflook after the orangutans at the zoo rendered gave iPads to Orangutans them for so that they would learn enlightenment and gratification ofbecome more satisfied with their lives. They can enjoy some Apps such as Music music apps, video games, and even cognitive apps. This activity that furnishes provides enrichment- devices is the “Orangutans’ Outreach.”. At the zoo, they feel depressed and bored by customary their days, in which they are pictured photographed by viewers and pointed at by forefingers. I think this activity is fabulous because it does not only delights the Orangutans orangutans but also indicates that they can manipulate high-tech devices. After their training, we would might be able to communicate better with them by more deeply throughusing iPads.

 

(105 words)

 

 

Takuki:

 

What a great story!

  • The name of an animal like “orangutans,” just like horses or elephants, does not need to start with a capital letter.
  • The “outreach” seems to be “of the orangutans”; hence the apostrophe in Orangutans’ Outreach.” Also, because this appears to refer to a name, or proper noun, the capital letters are retained.
  • The articles “the,” “a” or “an” are needed before most singular common nouns and some plural ones; hence, the changes to sentences two, four, five and six.

 

JoeJ

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